And so then…I killed myself…
I ripped apart my soul from my body.
And from that moment on my body was only a moving tomb.

the end

And so as I walk everyday on the streets, and all these human beings keep passing by me, I close my eyes fiercely… and I yell to inside myself: PLEASE,PLEASE,PLEASE MAKE THEM ALL DISAPPEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!

And, as I open my eyes again…I realise that they're all still there… INFECTING MY SIGHT…

Do you know?

When the world is getting over and you know you’re gonna be the only survivor…

It’s not fair, is it?

I’ve been to many places…and I have returned from all of them.

And, sheltered inside empty buildings, I secretly…hopelessly…in my drunkenness… wished to die.

I’ve seen the night and the day converge into random scattered nightmares of blind eyed audiences.

I’ve contemplated madness and I’ve soaked myself in desperation.

Give them the sun. Give them colors …

Give them easy conquests …

Give them a game to play…

Give them something to believe...

An idea…and they’ll be your slaves. They will worship you.

Give them flashing meteors.

Give them vices and devices.

Give them pills and cigarettes.

And they will crawl at your door on a Sunday morning begging for more.

I’ve been on the edge of defragmentation and I’ve came back in time to witness my own oblivion.

I repeatedly watched them witnessing time’s self-procrastination and fiercely clapping to their own destruction.

I saw their battles. I heard their screams.

Useless.

I’ve dripped night after night into distorted sceneries.

Assuming the world’s lost and seeking for more.

Finding refuge under the infrastructures of the hidden lights.

I’ve swore that I wasn’t there and I became invisible…wrapped in the smoothed curtains of the room.

And in the dark glances of my shelter I‘ve painted the picture of my own desolation.

How does it feel?

How is it?

I could give my life for just one small drop if it.

Is it too far? Or am I the one who’s running away from it?
Sweet poetry on the devil’s chess board…one single move and it’s over…

Give them the key to the eternal happiness.

Give them the reverse combination of the entrance.

They like to fight for something.

I could stay here for days and days….staring at the horizon …imagining that life is no longer available for me.

Give them a conception.

A drawing in a small piece of paper.

Where am I?

Is this the same place as yesterday?

Give them lobotomy shocks.

Give them razors. Scissors. Knives.

Give them lighters. Furniture. Stairs.

Give them make-up and costumes.

Give them parades.

Give them the warm flavor of resurrection …

I‘ve cried myself until I wasn’t able to cry any longer.

Until I invented tears to cry.

Until I created new ways of pain.

Electrifying thoughts colliding into catatonic excitement.

I’ve seen myself drenched in oil seas and I’ve slept in waste containers.

Until there was no more life at all...

I’m sick of feeling and I’m dying to feel something.
I’m sick in my mind and it hurts my body.
I can’t trust in what my eyes see anymore.
I can’t trust my thoughts. My senses are in a dysfunctional mode.
I have all the time at my disposal and I’m always late.
I’m desperate, though everything is so peaceful around me.
I’m anxious. I can’t concentrate myself. I can’t produce logical ideas.
I’m chasing shadows. I’m chasing invisible steps.
I’ve locked myself inside these walls so my madness can’t escape.
I’m starving. I’m greedy. I am obsessed.
I can’t sleep and I can’t keep my eyes open either.
I keep choosing “whatever” between the “yes” and “no” options.
My nights are full of empty spaces; my days are empty with fool actions…
My mother hates me and my father wished that I was a different person.
To say that I’m misunderstood is not a possibility.
I lie to everyone…I have to…because if I’d say the truth they wouldn’t believe me….
So I lie to them so fearless …I even lie to myself just for fun.
I keep passing through a lot of random situations…some of them real and most of them delusional…I can’t tell the difference anymore.
It’s 6pm. I am walking in an empty house and I open a door to a new world. Yet, not a better one…
“I spy with my little eye…” a room full of red wine…
Is it wine?
No it isn’t. It’s cold. It’s scarlet. It’s…Is it blood?
Then I’m walking again but I’m in another room. This one is very crowded. I can barely walk between the dancing skeletons. I look at my left hand and my glass is empty and in my right hand my cigarette has putted out ….
I’m sober. I start to panic. I want to get out of this place, but I can’t. There’s no way out. There’s no door. No window. And the walls are now giant guillotines.
I close my eyes and count to ten.
I’m lying on a bed now. It’s morning already, I can see the light penetrating the room through the small cracks on the window. I spent the all night awake.
I shouldn’t be here. I wanted to, but I know that I will regret it later.
Maybe not that later...
I have to go. And I’m sure that I will never come back.
Last thing I remember I am in an elevator, and then I blacked out.
It’s morning again. It’s another day. It’s Wednesday I guess. I’m weak. My legs shake. My head aches. My bones are freezing.
It’s been almost a week since I’ve been in self-starvation.
My mirror says that I’ve been succeed. I’m victorious.
What was the prize? Is there any? I can’t remember…
Is it endless happiness outfitted in stunning dresses?
Is it everlasting beauty?
Did I win?
Thank you! I’m so happy…I want to thank to the entire world…
Wait…what?!
Shut up and go eat something!
Just a very small amount of food won’t be a disaster. Or would it be?
Go ahead. Eat it. I know you’re dying to. Just one single bite and you’ll be saved.
Saved? Or damned? Not sure…
It’s 4am and I’m lying on the floor staring at the intermittent lights on the ceiling.
Empty bottles surround me.
I’m highly intoxicated.
I’m suffocating in ash and dust.
My body shivers.
Truth or consequence?
Rise or decadence?
Suicide or celebration?

"...no queda noche para más, que un último baile..."